My sobriety has lasted exactly 2 days. I discovered my husband had emptied out all my champagne bottles (no big loss, there were only four @ $10 each) but also I am missing a case of very nice Parducci Small Lot Zinfandel. I was willing to forgive the Cava but not the damn Parducci. Where was the Parducci? I asked him. I hid it, he replied. I'm going to send it to my sister after the holidays. Well, don't you think that's a bit presumptuous? The Parducci belongs to me. Well, you shouldn't be drinking anymore. In fact, you promised me you wouldn't. News flash: alcoholics lie. He should know that by now. I found some old skunk beer and have had three bottles. Beats a poke in the eye with a sharp stick but I miss my champagne. As this short two-day time span has passed, I find myself becoming more and more bitter, angry, and resentful. I have somehow gone from an intelligent woman with sovereign ...
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December 23, 2018, Sunday This is my second day home from that horrible, exhausting prison. I am starting to take an assessment of my life. Observations so far: So…I’m not supposed to drink anymore. Supposedly it will keep me healthier and help me live longer. Would someone please tell me WHAT THE FUCK FOR? What is the purpose of being alive if that life is FUCKING MISERABLE?
Insanity and Mirror Lake
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Mirror Lake Rehab Center They tried to make me go to rehab I said, no, no, no Yes, I been black But when I come back, you'll know, know, know I ain't got the time And if my daddy thinks I'm fine He's tried to make me go to rehab I won't go, go, go -Amy Winehouse December 17, 2018, Monday Arrived at Mirror Lake Center at 9:00PM after a very, very long and emotionally draining day. I had to completely remove my clothes sans my underpants so I could be searched. I was given a pair of scrubs to put on. I could easily fit my entire body in one of the pants legs. I am in the Detox Ward. It’s between 45º and 50º in here. I have no coat because my husband was told to take all my belongings when he left me at the Vanderbilt Admitting Center in Nashville. I have no toiletries, not even a toothbrush. I don’t even have a watch. The medical assistant showed me to my room. I requested an extra blanket....